On days when you step in puddles that smell like rotten eggs…

As if the title doesn’t tell you enough…this is what happened on my way INTO school last week. Sure, most kids have one class, go home, take a nap, eat and watch “What not to Wear” until their next class a few hours later. Being a pharmacy school student has robbed me of my beloved under grad luxuries. So when you go to class as a 1^st, 2^nd, or 3^rd year student, you are literally in class ALL DAY. Which is what makes the story of stepping in the puddle more tragic. When a tragedy occurs, the brain goes through a series of protective mechanisms:

1. Denial: “There is no way that smell was coming from that puddle. I am pretty sure it was only my toe anyway.“

2. Rationalizing: “Despite the recent lack of rain and the sketchy apartment complex with the roto-rooter truck out-front, I know it was just pure rain water. I mean, there was a tree there. Trees are clean. The water was under the tree. So the water is therefore clean. It’s just scientific fact.”

3. Realization: (Me speaking to friends in class) “Yea, I smell that too…That is so gross that someone would come to class smelling like that. This is a PROFESSIONAL program! “ It (at this point “it” is still an entity not linked to you or your earlier run in with the sketchy puddle) keeps following you around as you try to figure out the smell culprit. Then while minding your own business, you realize that the culprit is YOU!

4. The cover-up: Just play it cool while trying not to freak out about the different types of bacteria and diseases you have been exposed to by the puddle.

5. Treatment plan: This is the automatic result of being 3 years deep in pharmacy school. You start to think of the treatment to the newly discovered disease you have or may not have. My choice: Zosyn. It has good coverage of pathogenic gram-negative bacteria as well as some gram-positive bugs (which I was not worried about in this scenario) and was the answer to a lot of exam questions during my infectious disease block. I may even throw in some Penicillin (actually Benzathine LA) for syphilis coverage just because it’s making a comeback.

6. Actual Solution: wipe down shoes, wash hands, and eat frozen yogurt to sustain mental health.

Crisis successfully averted!